Breast Cancer Reflection

This is the first picture I took when I was diagnosed. I didn't know if I had stage 1,2,3, or 4. My husband was away in Saudi Arabia. I didn't know if it was genetic. I didn't know anything besides I had breast cancer.

Now, reflecting on my last round of chemotherapy, the words that I wrote on my chest that day have lead me through this journey: Breast cancer never owned me.

It will continue to not own me. Yes, even if it's genetic.

As a former bulimic and drug user, I used the pain of drama to fuel the fire--I got so wrapped up in the story-- this person wronged me, I didn't have this or that, etc. I believed the stories and used them as excuses. I use to fall in the dark hole of depression and self-loathing. But it's amazing the power of the mind ---it's like a stray dog you can totally train and make to work for you. But it's also blind faith that everything will work out. TRUST. I know with all the pain and loss that folks are experiencing now--somehow it will all work out-- because the universe is in charge. And in the hardest and darkest days, there's always something beautiful to see-- the smile of a child, flowers blooming, people doing service for each other. That's what gives me hope. Love you guys so much. Thank you for all your continued support.

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